According to the highest rabbinical authorities, I recently heard that words, like the DNA nucleotides, are what our Universe is built from.
Quite often, at certain times eerily so, I find that what I hear from esteemed scientists and theologians not only resonates within me, concurring with their thoughts, but is in the depth of my intrinsic nature and has been there since my very beginnings.
The Hindus say that a child remembers his/her past lives, so we should patiently listen to their stories to learn what they brought back into this world on this rotation. In my own childhood, for instance, I often said that I imagine a week like an opened school diary we had in the USSR. When it unfolded, each school week had six days, three on each left and right pages. We attended school six days then and there was no room for Sundays in the school diary, since no assignments needed to be recorded, no scolding remarks or grades were entered on Sundays by the ever so severe school teachers, who on weekdays would call on us unexpectedly to answer whatever we were called to answer, be it algebra or foreign language or even gym, and then enter the marks for our performance into our individual journals. We had to have parent’s signature at the end of each week, and most of us learned to forge those very early on.
It’s either I never imagined what a month looked like or just accepted the vision of it from one or another monthly table calendar I espied somewhere. Nothing interesting about it.
But a year I clearly and distinctly envisioned like a step in my lifelong staircase, From my current step I can look down and see everything in my past or even broader. Yet when I attempt to look up, everything is blurry and I am enveloped in the fog of unpredictability.
Too bad my adults paid no attention to any of this…perhaps I had valuable lessons from my past lives I could have imparted…and helped them and me…
Later, perhaps by my thirty-fifth year, I started envisioning my circle of acquaintances and scope of tasks as an onion, which I would peel at New Year’s Eve, shelling off all the unnecessary baggage I wanted to dispose of and not take into the next step. Sometimes I succeeded quickly, sometimes, it took painfully long time and repetition of hurt left deep wounds on my soul and heart.
Several decades later, after living an intuitive life and often a time being ridiculed for my insights and predictions by the people I trusted most and/or wanted the most feedback and approval from, I no longer care one way or another about their opinions, because I believe that I have always known better, and should have not wasted years on some of those failed or fake friendships and other relationships, including those with blood relatives.
I am standing on my sixtieth step of my lifelong staircase. What I see up ahead of me are days filled with quality of thought and endeavor, attainment of hitherto unattained goals and confidence.
In my childhood and youth many tried to divert me off my path by destroying my confidence. Over the past quarter of the century I learned to shell off regrets an
move forward with a lighter heart. I still learn lessons. I still ache for some of my past dreams, but I value the future differently now that I welcome the fog of the unknown. It has been kinder to me than most of my family or friends.
In the USSR, when I first thought of this stairway, I did not know of Led Zeppelin’s song “Stairway to Heaven” nor would I have been able to comprehend its meaning. It was written in 1971, when I was 10. I think by then I already visualized my stairway. It did not look much like this one in the picture. It was very dirty at the bottom, but got cleaner as I progressed through life. Perhaps, I was leaving some of the mud behind.
This year I once again feel compelled to shell off the unneeded things, tasks, even people. No offense to anyone, we just were meant to know one another unto this point, perhaps. Or maybe we have another point of connectivity later on, I can’t quite know, but I feel it is important to free my mind from some of the extra load. And this year I’m doing it by mid-year again. Good luck to me!